Online dating profile tips for men: why you should avoid selfies and remember to mention your exes

Men who discuss previous relationships and children – while avoiding selfies and use of the word ‘baby’ – are more likely to get responses on online dating sites, according to a new study

Writing about a divorce or previous relationship in an online dating profile boosts men’s chances of being contacted by more than 50 per cent, according to a survey of 4,000 site users.

But women who do the same, or open up about being a single mother, are four per cent less likely to receive messages from members of the opposite sex, the study found.

The report, commissioned by dating website Zoosk, also found that men were more likely to have success with online dating if their profile featured a picture taken outside (with 19 per cent more messages), while women who posted outdoors pictures got 40 per cent fewer messages on average.

Selfies were found to be turn-off when featured on men’s profiles but increased interest when they were shown on women’s.

Susan Quilliam, a relationships coach who runs courses in online dating, said women might be more likely to contact a man who mentions a divorce because this offers reassurance that he is now single.

On the other hand, men might be more wary of women who look like they’ve got a lot of relationship history. They want to be the most important man in a women’s life. I wouldn’t say that’s sexist necessarily, it’s just down to gender differences.”

She added that selfies were a no-no for men because they so often looked uncomfortable when taking them.

“The most important thing in your profile picture is to look welcoming – I haven’t found it matters so much whether it’s inside or outside – and that’s hard to do when you’re taking a picture of yourself.

“People are so used to seeing professional, airbrushed photos in the media so a selfie will almost always look really amateurish and like you don’t care.”

The Zoosk survey also found that men who used the words ‘baby’ and ‘beautiful’ in their first message to women were 10 and 13 per cent respectively less likely to get a response.

Full words were shown to be important to both sexes, with people using ‘ur’, ‘b4’ and ‘cuz’ less likely to be contacted. Writing ‘rofl’ on a profile reduced the likelihood of receiving messages by 13 per cent.